Down and out

I am getting to the point where I feel I am just subscribing to the fact that I will never be well again. That's a crappy place to be, but I haven't seen anything to really help me believe there is any relief in sight.
 I know (as we all know) there is NO CURE for Lupus. However, do you know that many times, the benefit of the treatments for the symptoms just don't outweigh the risk? I am on so many medications right now, that I feel like I should at least be able to walk. Nope.
I am in so much pain in so many places on my body.....my hips are screaming! My right hip is gone, There "I know" is no cartilege left in it at all and I need a hip replacement.
My right shoulder hurts so bad I can't even move my right arm or lift it whatsoever. Scans of my shoulder show only mild degeneration of the joint. So why all the pain???? 
My back hurts so bad I can't stand up straight, sit for more than 10 minutes without pain or stand for longer than 20. Add to that, the fact that I have numbness from my left hip, halfway down my thigh to my knee. My arches of both my feet hurt so bad I can't stand on them for more than a few minutes at a time. Now, the bones in the top of my right foot are starting to swell up on me and they hurt.
I have temporal headaches that may or may not be caused by the lesions in my brain.
My throat burns constantly from the breakthrough acid reflux I have that is not being controlled by either of the TWO PPI's I'm taking.
My teeth hurt and are rotting due to lack of saliva, my eyes hurt from lack of tears and I cannot read well at all anymore without my glasses thanks to the Plaquenil.
 I have sores in my nose, in my mouth and in my ears. Not to mention the sores all over my scalp that you cannot see thanks to my hair.
My skin flakes on my face and head, but it's not dry flakes, it's sticky, plaque like scales that seep when they are scratched off. They itch and burn!
I'm sure that much of this is realative to the medications I am taking, but I don't know what else to do.
I am only 39 years old and I need to live for my kids because I am all they have left in the world.
I cannot walk around with my kids anymore, I had myself all psyched up to go to Halloween Haunt with my boys and guess what!? I had to go lay in the van while they went through the ghost houses. There were no wheelchairs close to where I was and I didn't want to be the "party pooper" so I walked back to the car alone and laid there and cried silently. Seems I do that a lot lately. I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I have had to take pain meds lately and I cannot wake up in the morning when I do. There has got to be a better way. It's dangerous for me to sit for long but I can't walk! What am I supposed to do?
It hurts so bad.
~H
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